OAKLAND RAIDERS
2009 Preview

The funny thing about true characters — those people who behave significantly outside the norm, yet are powerful or competent enough not to be totally ostracized from human affairs — is that they are so consistent in their eccentricity, and totally immune to reform. Thus we must choose to embrace these icons of originality as they are, or risk unfathomable frustration.

This, of course, is the dilemma that Oakland Raiders fans have perennially faced since Al Davis, Character of Characters, first made clear the true dark depths of his misanthropic disgust for the feelings of others by moving the team to Los Angeles, despite decades of home-game sellouts and mass adoration in the East Bay. Davis is an immovable object, all-powerful in his realm; "Old School" does not do the man justice.

Put it this way: Tony Soprano was willing to see a shrink, and you can bet Davis thinks he's a pussy because of it. Dick Cheney says he "has little to apologize for" after running the country into the ground for eight years; Davis sneers at the idea of even answering such a question after doing the same to his team for 30. Idi Amin put human body parts in his fridge, but Davis … Well, you get the idea.

So if you were born into the Raiders Cult, you have the dilemma: To defend, accept or ignore The Al. Sure, some fans will tell you they root for the players, others the pirate colors. They are fooling themselves. If you are not willing to admit you are running through the night alongside the NFL's version of Sauron and his Black Riders, you are in denial.

As the losing seasons have piled up, many of us have made bold to criticize the man's many "epic fail" decisions, safe in the knowledge that he doesn't even care enough about our opinions to bother punishing us. Others fall back into conspiracy theories, and can be found in a corner of Ricky's mumbling "tuck rule, tuck rule, tuck rule" like a mantra against evil. But no, WE are evil, and stupid, and stubbornly proud of who we are. Stand up, Raider Nation! Embrace The Truth in all its Dark Splendor!

Which, of course, brings us to this year's NFL draft, an annual platform for Davis to display to the world his unique brand of not giving a crap what you think. Since the early '60s, the Old Coach has stuck with remarkable stubbornness to his drafting philosophies: Pick the fastest, strongest prospects whenever possible; the higher the risk-reward ratio, the better. Pick who you like as soon as you can, not worrying about whether you are getting "value" — Davis is the only owner known to pick his kickers in the first round. For some reason, Heisman trophies also get Davis juiced.

Davis is also looking for certain archetypes based on past Raider superstars. This year, the first round pick — No. 7 overall — went to yet another attempt to draft Cliff Branch 2.0, this time in the form of Darrius Heyward-Bey, a burner who for self-appointed experts was late-first-round material. Like Branch, who Davis feels has been jobbed by the gate guardians of the Hall of Fame, young Darrius is known for his track speed more than his hands, but the hope is that if he can connect with strong-armed JaMarcus Russell once or twice a game for a looooooong gainer, that will open up the rest of the offense.

In the second round the team snagged another guy dissed by the public scouts and ESPN, safety Michael Mitchell, a hard-hitter in the George Atkinson/Ronnie Lott mold. He'll have a shot at starting in a weak field and proving the doubters wrong.

After that? Well, some guys. Observers noted that a bunch of the picks this year are considered low-ego, high-motor types and wondered if This Year's Coach Tom Cable had a hand in that emphasis. Maybe.

In the end, though, they are the Raiders, weird and fascinating even in their suckitude, and All About Al. It is possible that someday Davis will leave this mortal coil; when that time comes, the team will probably be sold to a corporate entity and become more functional, perhaps even more successful.

It will no longer be the Raiders, however.